messy heart.

As I was reading this morning, I came across a passage in Matthew that I’d never seen before. Here Jesus speaks to a crowd of hypocritical religious people.

“A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but then afterward he changed his mind and went. And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?” They (the religious crowd listening) said, “the first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of Heaven before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and prostitutes believed him.”         Matthew 21:28-32

This passage has a big-picture context and a separate, daily application context. The big-picture context is crucial, but the smaller, second focus caught my attention this morning. The churchy saying “delayed obedience is disobedience” flashed in my head as I sat down to write this, and while some of us have heard that before, it would be wrong to disregard its truth. 

Too often, I feel God calling me to sacrifice something, or to devote more time to prayer, or to reach out to someone or to stop complaining about something, and my first response is “okay, Lord. fine. i’ll do it, whatever.” And then I don’t do it. I fill my time watching Guy Fieri on the Food Network instead of opening my Bible, or pretending to clean my room instead of worrying about the uncleanness in my heart. I get the horrible and completely untrue feeling that I’ve ‘done enough’ for God and that my priorities can come before whatever He’s asking me to do. I am like the second son in this parable, who says to His father’s face, ‘of course I’ll do what you ask’ but who really has no intention of obeying.

Now, God does not NEED us to obey Him. He says in His word that if we refuse to be a part of His work in this world, He can make rocks and sticks rise up and worship Him. However, one of the key things to realize is that when God INVITES US to be a part of what He’s doing, He is doing US a favor. It is for HIS GLORY and OUR GOOD that He has high standards for His children. And, more often than not… when He places it on my heart to read the Bible more, to study more, to stop doing something pointless with my time and invest more… it is because He needs me to be prepared to show His love to someone else who needs it. So when I choose to ‘reward’ myself with a relaxing night of ridiculous tv instead of studying the word of God, not only am I robbing myself of a more intimate knowledge of Him, but I’m also weakening my defenses against the upcoming trials and putting myself at risk to misrepresent Christ to someone else. (I know that we don’t all usually go about our daily lives thinking in such a chain-reaction mode, but I do believe that everything has infinite effects on everything else and everything has potential to have an eternal impact—good or bad.) It has been a harsh reality for me to learn that my sin affects the people around me. And when making excuses for myself, I must remember that “anything that does not honor Christ is sin.” Tiring stuff, right? No. With God’s power, He can make our relationships with Him the most fulfilling and exciting things we could ever imagine. Serving Him can and does become the love of our lives.

When God gives you an opportunity to do something for Him— just know that He has it in mind to bless someone’s heart, and if you’re a part of it, you will surely be blessed too. So… even though all of us are just tax collectors and hookers without Christ, He calls us to work for Him for the salvation of the souls of our brothers and sisters. And I cannot afford to be lazy when God asks me to know the Scriptures better or to give more financially or to meet people and love on them— because there is so much more at stake than just my daily time-wasting agenda.